O-mama - Opinionated Moms

Recently, a friend had the following post on her Facebook status:  “To all those dealing with 'invisible illness'... It's hard to explain to someone who has no clue. It's a daily struggle being in pain or feeling sick on the inside while you look fine on the outside. Feel free to post this as your status for at least one hour if you or someone you know has an invisible illness (cancer, diabetes, ADHD, crohns, depression, anxiety, etc.). Never judge what you don't understand.”

Too often in our society, we judge. The mother who lets her child repeatedly run in circles in the store is incapable of disciplining her child. We don’t know that he has autism.  The young adult who won’t shake your hand upon meeting you is rude. You don’t know that she has obsessive-compulsive disorder.  The little boy who looks away from you when you say, “Hello”, has poor manners.  His parents must be the same way. You don’t know that he has an anxiety disorder.  

Many of us are guilty of passing judgment on situations of which we possess no understanding let alone background knowledge. While I could speculate as to why we are so quick to criticize not only perfect strangers, but also those who we care about, I won’t. I am not a therapist, nor is that my purpose.  My intention is solely to give a voice to those who struggle on a daily basis, yet do so with as much dignity and resolve as possible.  To those who believe they are judge and jury: Please think before you roll your eyes or make a snide comment within earshot.  Parents struggle every day and for most of us, those struggles will diminish. Parents with children with special needs experience a heightened sense of struggle every day.  The tribulation will likely endure and each time you pass judgment, you feed the insatiable fire. You may never see that mother again or the young adult, but they will remember how you treated them.

I wish you a happy and healthy holiday and in the words of Mark Twain, “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

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