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FEATHERING OUR NESTS: O-MAMA’s Perspective on SPRING CLEANING

Spring is in the air.  The birds and the bees are flitting around doing their thing…nature abounds.  The birds are feathering their nests and laying their eggs, while the bees are busy pollinating every flower in the garden.  The air is crisp and clean.  Chirping and buzzing fills the air.

Everything seems fresh and new.  So, let’s take a new look at Spring, shall we? The first thing that comes to mind is cleaning. Ugggh.  But, let's talk about the birds and the bees instead...the part of the story that happens...

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SICKENING: Mom With Cancer Loses Kids
Photo NBC

Alaina Giordano is losing custody of her children because she has cancer. She and her husband are in the middle of a nasty custody battle and are living hundreds of miles apart. A female judge has ruled Giordano is to give up primary custody of her kids to her soon-to-be ex husband, because she has been fighting stage 4-breast cancer for the past four and a half years. The judge’s ruling states that, “children who have a parent with cancer need more contact with the non-ill parent.”

MOMism: “In sickness and in health.” Granted, this is a marriage vow, and this couple’s marriage is down the tubes, but at some point they did make a promise to one another. But there a bigger issue, when you bring children into a marriage you make the promise to them. This ruling says to them that we as humans are only valuable and capable when we are healthy. What kind of precedence does this set, legally and morally? Scary to consider, really. Will all single parents lose custody of their children if they are diagnosed with an illness now? Those with stage 2 cancers? Epilepsy? Crone’s disease? Is the time a child spends with an ill parent less valuable than the time they spend with a healthy one? Time is already precious enough to this family. There are still memories, love and lessons to be shared. Plus, the other part of the promise was, “til death do us part.” So, MAMAs, what do you think is in the best interest of these kids?


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  • SimpleySweet

    This is sad and sickening that just because a mother is ill from a non choice sickness that they are taking away her kids, something is considerably wrong with this picture, for one what kind of example are they setting for these kids, that when someone is sick with what a life threatning illness that it's okay to take away the support that they need. Or to give up and walk away. When you are diagnosed with something like this you need all the support you can get, taking away the loved ones that mean the most to them is a heartbreak and could even cause more problems. I agree that moms are super strong even at their weakest moments when it involves there kids and this decision is wrong in so many ways
    on 05/17/11
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  • Debomama

    Her children are 11 and 6 I believe...super sad for them all around!
    on 05/16/11
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  • papawswanz

    1st, this is one (1) judge who has her head stuck where the sun doesn't shine with that particular rational. 2nd, here are some children who are going to be "totally" messed up for the rest of their lives. 3rd, here is a father who will regret his and the judges decision for the rest of his days. Lastly, now that I've stuck my neck way, way out, how old are these children and how much say did they have in the judge's decision? :-))
    on 05/13/11
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  • bungysqk

    Shame on that judge, How could she tell a mother she cannot care for her children just because she was ill. Mothers have strength way beyond comprehension. Now is such a vital part of her children's lives, They should get to spend these last ???? months with there one and only Momma. They will learn so much from her living and dying. Life is hard enough, but to have to go away and visualize what you "Think" is going on with your momma, and having your mind thinking up all kinds of scenarios That is unforgivable. And the Dad!!, Shame on him to. Doesn't he realize that his children will hold a grudge against him for robbing them of the last days with there Momma. They will NEVER talk to her again NEVER, and he feels the need to take that little time away. SELFISH, thats what he is. I do understand the fear about having a child witness there Momma passing, But if I could have been there to hand over my parents to GOD I would have fought for that right. I would have given up so much of my life to be able to have that one last time. I pray for the Dad and the Judge that they will realize what an injustice they are doing to these children. And then I pray that they can live with themselves after the Momma is gone, knowing that they robbed innocent children of time with there Mommy. Susan Height-Kaplan MI
    on 05/12/11
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  • loisc

    Is this the way we teach children the family dynamic? Yes, the children need contact with dad. However, do they desert an ill mom because a bleeding heart doesn't see the overall picture? Will this strip the mom of her will to live? It would me. That judge needs a wake-up call. UNELECT HER OR UNAPPOINT HER! This country needs to return to family values.
    on 05/12/11
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  • amyandgreg

    I think that is more important that the children spend time with their mom whom has stage four cancer. This mother losing her kids could put enough stress on her to where she passes away because she isnt strong enough to fight the cancer and deal with losing her kids as well. and i hate to say that but i just lost my grandma to cancer. and they took her out of a non stressful environment and put her into an environment where she fought constantly with her daughter in law and she passed away a week later. If i lost my kids and i had cancer i would lose all the strength i had left. and If this dad had any morals and cared at all he wouldnt be taking the children hundreds of miles away from their sick mom! This story makes me so angry!!! The kids need this time with their mother while they can. Because with cancer you never know what tomorrow holds and you have to take it day by day and sometimes minutes by minutes. It is in best interest of these kids to be with their mom so they can spend this time w/ her. If not live with her then close by so they can see her every day! The father isnt only hurting the mom here but hurting those innocent children as well! and too many people in this society are using their kids to get back at their spouses and thats not fair to the kids!
    on 05/12/11
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  • Noelle81177

    As someone who just finished some pretty aggressive chemo for Hodgkin's I'm a bit angry at this stupid judge. It's like a judge agreeing with my ex that military families are less stable than families that aren't required to move as much. Shame SHAME on these horrible people and SHAME on the dad for thinking he has such a right. I couldn't pull my kids away from me while undergoing treatment. They weren't depressed nor did they suffer. They were scared but I believe their presence played a HUGE role in my overall healing and well being. I am praying for this wonderful woman!
    on 05/12/11
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