O-mama - Opinionated Moms

Abby Sunderland, 16, dreamed about sailing a solo voyage around the world.  She set sail in January, but made headlines last week when she triggered a frantic international rescue effort after getting stranded in the Indian Ocean after storms smashed the mast of her sailboat, Wild Eyes.

In the wake of the near-disaster, the family has faced a barrage of critiques for their decision to let 16-year-old Abby set sail alone.  Criticism only increased after it was released that Abby’s father had signed on for a reality television show based on his family.  Producers of the reality show were drawn to "their philosophy on building strong, well-rounded adults by mentoring their seven home schooled children into setting goals, creating a plan to reach those goals, and implementing them ... allowing each of them to pursue their dreams of becoming world class adventurers."

What we are now asking ourselves is if those parents made the right decision in letting her go in the first place.  Did they do it just for the cash and the opportunity to get on reality TV, or were they earnestly supporting their daughter's dream?  Big questions, MAMAs.

We must recognize that some kids are incredibly mature, like Abby.  It is no small undertaking to sail around the world.  It's lonely, isolating and takes an incredible amount of mental strength and maturity on anyone's part to undertake such a voyage.  We'd like to think that no parent would put their child in such a situation without knowing if they are "packing the gear" to deal with that level of stress.  In fact, Abby herself said in an Associated Press interview that, "a lot of people are judging me by the standards they have for their teens and other teens that they know...and are thinking 'she's exactly like them'...I've sailed my whole life and I  do know what I'm doing out there."   

So, instead of criticizing her parents, perhaps we should look at our society as a whole.  Maybe we are remiss at not trusting our kids enough.  Maybe we coddle them too much.  Maybe we do not hold them accountable early enough.  Maybe we are doing them a disservice by making too many decisions for them.  Maybe we are too judgemental of parents who DO trust and know their kids' abilities. If she had made a successful journey, would we all still be questioning their decision?

On the other hand, there is the question of her parents' own dreams.  Were they motivated by the glory of having a record-setting daughter?  How many of us would allow our children to go out that far "out to sea" literally, alone?  Doesn't it seem reckless to let a girl who cannot even vote yet, make life or death decisions without our input.  We moms know that it’s just a matter of time before our kids tell us to back off because they will “be fine”.  But, they may not have the experience and wisdom that comes with age.  

In the end, these questions are what makes being a MAMA the most difficult job there is.  We constantly tread a thin line between cutting the cord and still protecting our kids from danger through the parenting decisions we make.  What do you think O-MAMAs?