O-mama - Opinionated Moms

Moms are good at doing lots of things, and we are really good at doing lots of things at the same time.  We can fold laundry, make a peanut butter sandwich, kiss a boo boo, answer an email, and grab the phone...all while chewing gum and holding a baby!  We are either running this gauntlet at home all day, or after we’ve finished a full day’s work.  Either way, moms do it all.  So, why aren't we better at saying "no?”  It seems simple enough. Why do busy moms feel obligated to say “yes” to our kids’ every whim?  Unfortunately, we aren’t that good at saying “no.” Instead, we swoop in…it’s a bird, it’s a plane, no - it’s my mom fixing everything and giving me exactly what I want, when I want it so I don’t have a hissy fit. The bad news is we are creating a generation of over-weight, over exposed and over indulged kids. The way we really save the day is by saying N-O.

We can admit it; we give in.  It’s harsh, but true!  We are exhausted and sometimes it's just easier to say "yes."  We are so over-extended doing everything that we don't have the energy to do the heavy lifting sometimes.  We placate with unhealthy food because it’s convenient and not worth the fight over trying to get our kids to eat their veggies.  We are tired, so we let our kids watch too much TV and play too many video games.  We need them to “plug in” so we can tune out.  We need a break.  We let our kids whine and get their way because we just want the whining to stop.  Anything to make it stop.  It's a vicious cycle.  The more they whine, the more we give in.  So, our message is…stay strong MAMAs!

We say “yes” to our kids, because “no” is much more difficult.  It takes more time and energy to explain the “no,” manage the fall out of the "no" and to stick to the “no” under pressure.  We don’t say “no” to our kids in the market when they want the Superman stickers because we get the glare, you know - the stare from passers by that says “give him want he wants, so he’ll be quiet” look.  We feel guilty for disturbing other people’s shopping experience, when instead we all need to support moms in the hard work of saying “no.”  We’ve all been there, so why not give a mom doing her job a thumbs up instead?  How about a shout out – “you go MAMA!”  A wink, a nod, a little pep talk not to cave and raise a kid who thinks embarrassing his mother in the market is the ticket to being a super man. 

Think of saying "yes" all the time as kryptonite for society – it sends a signal to our kids that they are entitled to anything and everything.  It weakens their manners, appreciation, respect, responsibilities and creativity.  The truth is we need to say “no” a lot more…”no” to too much tv, “no” to too many video games, “no” to too much internet, “no” to bad manners, “no” to junk food, “no, No, NO to the umpteenth pack of super hero stickers!”  We are creating people who are not patient, kind to one another or problem solvers – they are turning into finger pointers who will be powerless to long-term thinking, doing or planning if we give in to their constant demands for immediate gratification. 

If we want our kids to have good manners, we need to just say “no” when they whine and are relentless about something.  Insist on “big boy/girl words” and nice manners…when they don’t have screetching tone and are able to utter some polite words…give them the attention they deserve.  They need to understand that their delivery is key to anyone listening to their message, otherwise, we will raise rude whiners.  Stay strong MAMA.

If we want them to be appreciative, try telling your daughter “no” to buying the designer jeans that “everyone” has.  Have her save up to buy them herself….give her some chores and she’ll earn the money faster than a speeding bullet. She will appreciate the jeans more, respect the value of a dollar and respect you more for all the things you do provide.  Stay strong MAMA.

Tell your kids “no” to fast food because you’re going to eat at home.  If you want them to eat healthier and be healthier, then we need to take responsibility for their food choices while they’re under our roof.  They will learn good habits early and it will translate to the rest of their long, healthy lives.  Stay strong MAMAs.

Have them stop texting and pick up the phone and actually call their friends…they don’t even have to squeeze into a phone booth (not that our kids even know what one is?!@#!?). Better yet, encourage them talk to you.  Have them stay connected.  Really connected.  Fostering deeper relationships with their friends and family is the foundation for their happiness.  Stay strong MAMAs.

Tell them “no” to video games because they need to read a book or play outside instead.  Remember the days of playing until the streetlights came on?  Kids need to run around to clear their minds and exercise their bodies, sure, but more importantly, these are the days when childhood memories are made, so stay strong MAMAs.

Think of it this way...saying "no" to one thing means saying "yes" to new ways of thinking, habits and experiences.  If you say “no” and mean it when you say it, it actually gets easier.  Ushering in a new era of parental responsibility will prevent us from raising a generation of over-weight, overexposed and over indulged kids…and happier, healthier, more well-adjusted citizens.  We can do it just by saying NO!  We might not be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but we are stronger than we think we are – we can say it.  Moms just need to muster their super powers…no cape required!