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FEATHERING OUR NESTS: O-MAMA’s Perspective on SPRING CLEANING

Spring is in the air.  The birds and the bees are flitting around doing their thing…nature abounds.  The birds are feathering their nests and laying their eggs, while the bees are busy pollinating every flower in the garden.  The air is crisp and clean.  Chirping and buzzing fills the air.

Everything seems fresh and new.  So, let’s take a new look at Spring, shall we? The first thing that comes to mind is cleaning. Ugggh.  But, let's talk about the birds and the bees instead...the part of the story that happens...

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DIZZY DEMI: Lovato In Treatment
Photo CBS News

Disney darling, 18-year-old Demi Lovato, has entered treatment for “emotional and physical issues,” according to her publicist.  People magazine reports that she has had problems with an eating disorder, bullying and cutting.   Lovato was on tour with the Jonas Brothers when she decided to seek help.

MOMism:”We just scratched the surface.” We don't always know how our kids are feeling.  Not really.  We ask how they are doing..."fine."  We ask how school was..."fine."  We ask how the party was..."fine."  But, we have to remember that tween/teen years are hard.  Kids are feeling a lot.  Sometimes they understand what they are feeling and sometimes they have no clue.  They want so desperately to say they are "fine" because they know that is what we want to hear...and what they want to be.

Demi Lovato seemingly has it all.  On the outside everything is great, but on the inside she is feeling empty, so she cut herself to feel something...anything. MAMAS, we know there is a lot going on inside of our kids. And, it is much more important that we stay connected to them and help them sort out their emotional and physical feelings, rather than let "fine" be fine. We need to make sure they are fine.  Get into the nitty gritty.  Find out what they are really feeling and why.  Our kids need to know they aren't alone. They are struggling to BE the best student, the best athlete, the best pop star...the best this and that...there are lot of pressures on kids to put on a happy face and be "fine."  But, as their MAMAS, we need to make sure they keep their balance.  We need to dig deeper in understanding what is really going on with our KID-Os. Hang on Demi - you're going to be fine, doll.

For more resources on eating disorders, bullying and cutting, please see links below.

CBS News- Demi Lovato
FamilyEducation.com
Kids Health
WebMD
BULLY Resources

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  • yogamama

    I'm so sad & concerned about this news. We see so many kids who have the look that appears that everything is fine. This a wake-up call that we need to re-examine our priorities to do our best to give our kids quality, meaningful time & not just put them on the treadmill of their day @ school, homework, sports & off to bed. Oh, to be balanced...that is the challenge for all of us! But for our kids, it is especially important to make sure they feel & are treated like human beings not human doings.
    on 11/03/10
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  • Noelle81177

    When I first read this article, my heart broke. Demi is an evening staple in our home. My 9 yr old son even likes her. She's funny and pretty and really every time we've heard her interviewed, she really seemed to have it all together. I would LOVE to hear from Mama's of teen gals to know what they do to ensure constant communication with their daughters! My daughter is only 6 but I know the time will fly and I want to make sure that she really can trust me enough to talk to me about the really important stuff.
    on 11/03/10
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    • tiredmama

      I had the same EXACT reaction! She is adorable, she has everything a girl dreams of...smart, talented, pretty, fame, fortune...all the things we see on the outside. But, inside she must be lonely and insecure. Lonely because how do you make real, solid friendships when you are famous and filming all the time? Everyone probably wants something from her...taking taking taking, so she feels empty and lonely. Breaks my heart. And, I have to say, she is perfect and beautiful, but if she is worried about gaining a pound every time she eats a cookie then the media has messed with her head enough to buy into all that craziness. Then, there will always be the jealous girls...she has it all, right? So, let's try to bring her down a notch and make her miserable. Nice. I guess after my rant, we just need to know all kids go through some of this stuff, so know that and anticipate it...encourage kids to have great friendships, family dinners, giggles, make them feel connected to something important...let them know that healthy doesn't mean super skinny and stand up to a bully or they will just keep doing what they do...it's all just exacerbated by Demi's celebrity. Poor thing. I hope she has an good MAMA!
      on 11/03/10
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    • Noelle81177

      I loved your post!! We definitely need to encourage more friendships, family time and giggles!! My daughter told me that she has a friend who got upset that she was playing with other girls. I asked Mimi if she had offered to include her friend with the others and she said yes. I called the little girl's mom (we're friends) and do you know at 6 and 7 they suffer from insecurities? Mama's need to UNITE and protect our kids and encourage them. Stay at Home Mama's and Career Mama's can do this. I pray, too, that Demi has a good "Mama"!
      on 11/03/10
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    • tiredmama

      Absolutely. We all need to support each other in the hard work of being MOMS - our most important job. Our kids need us. You handled that situation perfectly...girls tend to be even harder to figure out sometimes than boys because theirs is more an emotional battle with "best friends" and fitting in, whereas our boys struggle more with the physical aspects of fitting in - being the right size, good at sports, etc. It's so important as we help our kids navigate these issues that we are teaching them the skills they need to navigate them, too...so, they know we are here ALWAYS for them, but that they will indeed be "fine."
      on 11/03/10
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