O-mama - Opinionated Moms

As long as they are still kids, they are still kids, PERIOD. When did things get to the point where parents felt they had anyone but themselves to blame for the corruption of their kids? When did sex become an accepted recreational activity, like checkers, with the sluts that is? When did so many lose their self worth and feel they had to succumb to being whores to be accepted? A slut will always be a slut, just that simple. If my teenagers, and myself, can remain abstinate til we find THE one, sure as hell not seeing why anyone else can't do the same. Stop the spread of disease, unwanted pregnancies, the numerous other issues associated with premature and overly promiscuous sexual escapades, up to and including suicide. STOP THE WHORING AROUND!

I would like to respectfully disagree with knodceo. I also teach in the inner city...although I teach Pre-K. Even THERE I have to address issues of appropriateness as the music, MTV etc. is so overly sexualized. I try to address this with the parents individually if I have a concern. I also teach the girls to sit "like a lady" if they are wearing a dress and make sure to congratulate the boys if they are "acting like a gentleman" The Center for Missing and Exploited Children does a wonderful age appropriate presentation on "Don't touch me/staying safe" (It's free although they do accept donations) This all does have to start at home, but when the parents are young sometimes we the grown-ups have to address it with the parents as well. And the issue with the condom distribution is not the distribution I think, but that it can happen without parents KNOWING. That is a violation of the trust between the school and the parents. Children are just that. Children. They are NOT capable of making adult desisions, and we need to recognize that. Furthermore, the schools have made the problem worse in places by having MIXED classes of SEX-ED in the elementary grades. Hello! How shall we teach of modesty and approprate behaviors in a co-ed enviornment. I have three boys 14,12,10. This is a topic I have addressed with them since they were about 4. Obviously in the begining it was how their bodies work, and now how they should treat a girl and where their hands should and should not be.

As to the question, "when do we talk to our baby girls about it," I would suggest as soon as possible. Children need to be brought up with the knowledge that sex is normal and natural, but that there are constraints that promote a healthy way of being. Just like there are constraints on other normal and natural processes, to keep them on a healthy track - eating, sleeping, exercising, etc. So she will grow up knowing that when the time is right and it's appropriate, The Pill will be available to her, as one alternative to consider.

Women absolutely must be able to control their reproductive function in order to have any social or economic power. Lack of control over one's own reproduction seems like a fundamental right, but it has been used to control women since societies began. Thank goodness for The Pill, it's fulfilled one important role (there are others) in women's struggle for the rights of full personhood.

Stings is right! I don't want anyone talking to my kids about SEX, let alone passing out condoms without my knowledge, in 5th grade! What if the school had a MANDATORY meeting with parents of 5th graders and educated them about what is going on with 11 year old these days and encourage them to have the "talk" and give them tips about it??? Yikes.

Have "the talk" is the most important thing... I always had a great relationship with my parents, and my mom has been my best friend since I was teenager. "The talks" we had helped me a lot to take my decisions when "the time" came... For sure, it is not going to be easy to talk with my future little girl or my future little boy about it, but it is necessary. So let's prepare ourselves for the BIG talk!!

Okay, this is going to sound juvenile (how ironic!), but 12-year-olds having sex?...Eeewww, yuck! I think it's time we stop worshiping the youth-culture to bring 12 year olds back in perspective. You're 12, kids! 2 years before, you were probably watching Spongebob before bedtime. Now it's time to fit you for a properly-sized condom? Can we put the Genie back in the bottle? Oh, please say, "Yes, we can!!!"

So, my son is in the middle of a three part sex ed class in school and they just finished "the girl part". Hysterical insights from his classmates. One of the boys did not really know where babies came from and thought it might be the belly button(really, still at 11?). My son tried to set him straight by asking him why, if that were true then, do boys have belly buttons too when they don't have babies....the other boy replied "because God wants everyone to be even." FUNNY!

Gross Levi!

Tiger in sex rehab? Is there rehab for just having bad judgement?

Forget the kids, maybe we should start sexting our husbands!

An interesting article about sexting. I thought phone sex was kind of strange, but this is beyond!

Check out all the news from this weekend!

You gals are on fire in here...this is a great room to come and chat in! Thought I'd check out the buzz on the teen sex article and what do I find? Actual teen sex 'stuff' going on in here! Wow! Smarty is lucky that she caught on so soon and solved the issue...great work! Also, I'm glad that we struck a nerve with OC. Maybe it was the lifeguard tower reference? Anyway, did you see that Johnny Depp is sexiest man choice? Not so teen sex but sexy nonetheless. I appreciate all of your candor O-MAMAs. Thanks!

@latinmama: Yeah. Saw the article. You know it's so true. I'm already worried about my 14 year old. I think she might have learned a little from older sister's adventure. I hope so. The problem is they still talk and I think she still likes him and he's still stringing her along so he can have a friend with privileges. Yuck. This sucks. All I can do is hang in there and hope she makes good decisions. She's gone to college after this year. Wow.

Hooray Levi. Good choice!

The article this week was scary...but, only because it's true! Reality check.

The teen sex article took me back...but its pretty hard to get all of that across to today's kids. Smarty did you see the article for this week?

Holy moly...they already broke up! I'm so sad for her! That sucks! Now you have to be nice, helpful, shoulder to cry on mom...see how weird that is..you go from meany strict mom to let-me-help-you-deal mom. Geeze...never ending! Hang tough!

@tiredmama: Took her down to the Doctor's today. Once the horse has left the barn, it's pointless to close the doors. Anyway, they broke up because he was seen with another girl. I think she's learned a big lesson about boys and their needs. And yes, she is going to college!!! Thanks for all the support.

@SmartyPants: I'm relieved that I don't need to deal with this yet, BUT, I remember being 17 like it was yesterday...it's a delicate balance...keep them at your house as much as possible, but don't let them have total privacy...talk to your daughter all the time and EMPOWER her to make smart choices...make sure she understands that she should keep her legs crossed, but if she is tempted, she needs to ABSOLUTELY use protection. No ifs ands or buts about it. Adult behavior requires adult responsibilities...does she want to take care of a baby or go to college?! Go mama!

@latinmama: We're trying to talk to her, but she doesn't want to listen. Not a bad girl. 4.0gpa, captain of varsity Pom Dance team, tones of community service. She's going on the pill ASAP but we don't know what to do about the relationship. She says she cares for him and he for her. We can't let our home become a motel for them, but don't want them to start going to one either. Frustrated.

Give him a glass of wine too! Poor baby! Dont let him go to the GUN hotbutton! Bad timing for that spot for him! Plus i think the country's out of ammo anyway. marine huh...cool!

@latinmama: He wanted to. X-marine and all. He's thinking of her and how he was at that age. He doesn't like it, but he's trying to understand and help her grow.

@latinmama: Yeah were just trying to keep the communication open. She's a bright gal, on her way to college. Then we won't have it in our face. What's better? Her away or home?

Question smarty..how'd you keep your hubby from killing the guy? and her?

Holy Moly! I'm not looking forward to that phase...glad mine are still small and that i have a boy first..i know that sounds bad that it's just different for boys than girls! Pretty bold move to be doing that with you right there, though! I would never have been that brave! Which also says that I guess I was doing "it" too...although at 19, but still...not married...but on the pill...i guess that's the best you can hope for. No little unexpected babies, right? I feel for ya smarty! You just want to spare her all of that impending hurt of break up and loss and I guess its all part of the process of growing up and taking her lumps. Just keep her self esteem high I guess! You're a great mom and you're doing your best! Have a glass of wine and a deep breath! You'll all be fine!

@momof3: Yeah, I know. It was in the middle of the day with the door open and I was in the next room. They were watching the game on her TV. We've had the talk and even though she says they've been using condoms, we're marching down to the doc's to get her on the pill. I guess once the flood gates are open, it's hard to close them again, but yes, we've told her a boy only wants one thing and will cheat and lie to get it. Thanks.

@SmartyPants: Couple things: 1. what was the boy doing in her room? NO BOYS BEHIND CLOSED DOORS 2. have you had the talk? PROTECTION ASAP 3. tell her "when a boy wants to have sex with you, it's not a compliment" BUZZ KILL

Just caught my 17 year old with her boyfriend in her bedroom getting ready to do the do. From what information I gather it's not their first time. What do I do?

funnny mom of 3!!!!!

That boy is stretching his 15 minutes of fame...hope he's UP for the task!

Polanski is back in the news....boy, if he wasnt depressed before, I bet he is now...I knew I loved the Swiss....No bail for Roman....HA HA! Have some chocolate and put on a watch...you've got some time on your hands now!

@joemama: hilarious! yeah, he would absolutely have been the jerk I would have liked in high school! yikes.

have to admit that i'm super curious to see levi in the buff. he's so cute! yes, he knocked up Bristol and he's not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed but it's all in fun to take a look and someone cute (and partially dressed!!!) right?!?

j

@yogamama: Totally agree. It's all about building up our kids self-esteem...good lesson to draw yogamama!

All true..but now, who is going to by Playgirl just to see him? Hopefully no O-MAMAs!

Oh, okay...there was a thought provoking topic here, too. (And here I thought it was just a ripe opportunity to make fun of ol' Sarah). Okay...selling out. How do we keep our kids from selling out? I don't know if there's any slogans or cliches to draw off from, but I do know that nurturing confidence & self-esteem grows self-worth. And having a high level of self-worth can go a long way in promoting walk-away power (like walking away from peer pressure scenarios). So, maybe if we esteem our kids, they'll believe that they're too good to sell out for immediate thrills.

I wouldn't worry too much about this...who looks at Playgirl anyway? And as far as Sarah Palin goes, she can just give another interview & embarrass herself all on her own without anyone else's help.

New topic in the sex page...the guy is cute, but dang hasn't he done enough by getting little Palin preggo then bolting...now he is cashing in...where are this kids parents? O-MAMA!!!

Yeah, but she was 13 at the time, so she was a child...she was drugged and raped?! It's just disgusting all the way around...

What about the fact that the gal he had sex with doesn't want to see him serve time? Is that important?

lamama agrees with momof3. This is not a political issue...he broke the law and ran and now should have to pay the consequences. PERIOD.

@ocmama: Don't think it's a political issue at all...this DEM totally agrees with you! No one is above the law...not even if you made a couple good movies! Spare me.

Ridiculous. First of all, Woody Allen? Gross. He should have gone to jail with have sex with his own daughter, who he ended up marrying and now everything is hunky dory...that's just craziness. Roman Polanski needs to go to the "pokey" and get a little "pokey" and see how he likes it?! What is wrong with people? This one seems, black & white. Do Dems agree with this, or not?

How unbelievable is it that Hollywood types like Woody Allen originally stood by this creep to help him get out of this situation unscathed. He is not remorseful...he is a creepy pedafile and needs to go to the pokey! According the Oct 3 article he says he's willing to pay 500,000 to end the lawsuit and pay this gal off....wow! Can justice be bought...we will see

AMEN DADDY O. I completely agree!

Are we kidding with the whole Roman Polanski issue? The man raped a 13 year old, was convicted of his crime, evaded the law for 30 years and now people want him to be left alone? What kind of lesson is that? We are a civil society where there are laws...no one...no one is above the law. You break the rules, you face the consequences. Isn't that what we tell our kids? Time to face the music Mr. Polanski.