Weekly Opinion
THE STATE OF OUR UNION: Opinionated MAMA's Perspective on "Keeping It Together"

When the honeymoon is over and the day-to-day grind of real life begins, it takes a lot of hard work to create a healthy, happy...more perfect...union. Whether we are talking about the state of our country or the state of our own marriage and family, the message is the same. We need to take time to evaluate what is working, what isn’t and figure out how to adjust accordingly. If we are in a dysfunctional relationship it is hard to deal with any problems, big or small. Never mind an economic crisis, healthcare crisis,...

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I’ve always loved forms and questionnaires…not the medical kind where you have to dig up your insurance card and remember the circumference of your child’s head, just the fun ones.  My sisters and I did them constantly when we were little to pass the time on long car rides—(pre Ipad/pod /everything).  Those forms were fairly basic—favorite color, food, number, animal—but those oh so vital statistics could change a lot as one matured.  We went from pink/cotton candy/#7/ and bunnies to slightly cooler preteen answers…maybe black or green/ pizza or tacos/ the gutsy favorite #13/ and dolphins or dogs or “a great big eagle that I can ride”—a direct quote from one of my more daring and telling entries.

I guess it was all part of finding ourselves…”who am I?” think Anthony Michael Hall in Breakfast Club…who are you?  How do you explain it?...

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I hate to do this to you again, but in my library work wanderings doing inventory, I found this gem of a book, but I don’t think it’s going to be an easy one to track down!  Because of that, I’ve semi-summarized it below so even if you can’t find the book, you can get the gist of it here. 

The bottom line is…everything you say to your kids means I love you, and if you think about it, that’s really true.

Recently I’ve said a few things to my kids that really meant I love you:

“No, you can’t have cheez-its and Hershey bars for snack…why? Because it’s gross and unhealthy and BECAUSE I LOVE YOU and I want you to feel good and happy.”

“No, you can’t go out on the roof…why?  Because it’s a stupid idea and you could break your neck and BECAUSE I LOVE YOU and I would die if you died.”

“No, you can’t go to the movies with a group of...

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I’m pretty sure this book was written to some degree in response to the coddled and sheltered atmosphere we’ve created for our children today.  Not only are they becoming screen zombies with zero social skills (like actually talking skills—not texting or insta-gramming or whatever) but they aren’t even being exposed to actual sports or recreational activities because they can do them virtually.

My kids were doing wii archery the other day.  They loved it.  And I do understand that it does take a modicum of skill to sort of aim the wii remote and then pull your nonexistent bow back and try to hit the target.  Whatever.  I actually have an archery trophy—junior girls champion (that’s 10 and under) from Summer camp.  I shot real arrows from my own little quiver at a real hay bale target.  I wore a little leather arm band in case the bow...

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There’s a great line in a great movie called The Anniversary Party.  (you need to see it if you haven’t—Alan Cummings, Jennifer Jason Leigh)  But Phoebe Cates has this quote—in the scene, she’s really drunk and on ecstasy for the first time and having probably the first honest conversation with a friend that she’s had for a very long time and she’s very, very upset and sobbing uncontrollably and then says this about being a mother:  “Once you have kids you totally lose the right to ever just swallow a big handful of pills.”

Suicide is basically just a choice some people make—a brutal, selfish, scary choice that seems almost impossible for some to understand, and for others—maybe close enough to their way of thinking that it becomes somewhat more fathomable and understandable. 

Stephanie Madoff Mack’s book is a book about suicide—her...

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