O-mama - Opinionated Moms

• John J. Muth • 10 Comments
• Tagged in: For Kids

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I feel like I’m always trying to get my kids to calm down.  I speed past my desired freeway exits because they are thumb wrestling—which means screaming-- in the back seat.  We rarely get through a meal without milk or juice spillage because of some flailing arm accompanying a too loud story.  Just this morning, after insisting that they could apply the cinnamon/sugar to the toast themselves, we literally had a snowstorm of sugar all over the counter and floor.  It looked like Studio 54 in the 70’s.  They thought it was hilarious, especially when I had to strong arm the dog from licking it all up.

 And lately, and I don’t know why this is --but bath time is totally out of control.  What is it about being naked together that makes kids go totally outer limits?  They make up these wacky songs that are sorta PG-13 and just crack each other up.  Plus, the little one has to wear the ear plugs now because of the tubes, so the volume on the whole game is cranked up to 11 !

 I keep saying in my most soothing and melodious voice, “This is bath time….relaxing time…warm water….calm….bedtime is coming soon…we must prepare….and relax…quiet our voices and our thoughts….”

 “Okay Mom,” they say, “Can we relax a little longer?  Then we’ll get out.”

 “Okay, but no splashing.”  And I’m barely out of the bathroom and down the hall when all Hell breaks loose.  What the heck?  Anyway, this conundrum falls into that category of : Why don’t kids like naps?  I would love to take a nap.  I love baths.  I never get to take baths.  Again I say, what the heck?

 So in an attempt to relax ourselves and our wee ones, I’m recommending Zen Shorts, by John J. Muth.  This beautiful book is a winner of the Caldecott Honor—an award for illustrations--and it’s worth reading for just that reason alone.  Muth uses both detailed watercolor and simpler black line drawings for sort-of an east meets west feeling. 

 Basically the book tells the story of 3 siblings and their new neighbor, a panda.  One by one the kids visit the panda and hear a story he tells that illustrates a simple Zen lesson.  Muth uses the watercolors for the “real world” and the more uncluttered pictures for the stories the panda tells.

 The book is an absolute treasure not only for the paintings but for the mini-introduction to Zen that Muth gives us.  The structure of the book sets up a framework for discussions on everything from anger to giving and forgiving…riches, love and life.

 At one point, the panda tells a tale of letting go of what you cannot change.  If this lesson could somehow reach a child, imagine the disappointment and frustration he could be spared as he matures.  Most adults have a hard time with this.  I know I do.  This is the essence of this rudimentary Zen--coming to peace by accepting things as they are—not an easy thing to do by any means. 

 Honestly, every January at least one of my resolutions is something along the lines of, “this year I’m not going to keep beating my head against the wall regarding X and just move on.” 

 For mothers especially this is a wonderful lesson.  Your children are who they are—you can exemplify ways to allow them to be the best they can be, but you can’t make them into something they are not.  In the simple daily acts of mothering and being a wife and housekeeping too, there are some moments that call for Zen quiet and Zen strength.  In other words, yes, it’s repetitive, yes, it can be frustrating, but stay calm and be in the moment of folding the laundry or in the moment of bathing your child.  Do the best you can do, right then, that’s all. 

 Yes, it certainly does sometimes seem pointless to make beds when they are just going to get unmade and to wash clothes that you’ll wash again the next week and cook meals that no one eats and empty trashcans that just get filled up again…and why is there so much trash?  And why is there so much laundry?  And how can one dog shed so much??????

Ah…relax….Zen….live now…in the moment….be one with the trashcan and the dog and the vacuum cleaner….and if that doesn’t work, get yourself a prescription for Xanax.

 P.S.

For those of you who have crazy leprechaun kids who are big fans of St. Patrick’s Day…

Tomie dePaola’s Jamie O’Rourke and the Big Potato

And

Leprechaun Tales retold by Yvonne Carroll

(I like to read these two books with a deep Irish brogue that my kids can barely understand ‘cause it drives them nuts.)