O-mama - Opinionated Moms

• By Caralyn Beunher • 10 Comments
• Tagged in: For Kids

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Summer is almost here, and though I wasn’t a June bride, lots of girls are so this story is for them!

14 years ago, I was still teaching kindergarten and I was engaged to be married come that November of 1996.  This book was new that year, and a wonderful woman I worked with—the librarian—gave it to me as an early wedding present.  I worked closely with her, and she knew me well.  We shared lesson ideas and book reviews.  She had known me since I was a little girl visiting her library on a regular basis.

It was the perfect wedding gift, and I have since given it to tons of young couples.  My daughters love it too, and I think they must know by now that Fanny’s story is a little closer to the real thing than any Disney princess.

The book tells the story of a girl, Fanny, who—inspired by stories of Cinderella et. al.—sets her sights on a prince to marry, or at least the mayor’s son—someone to wait on her and dote on her, lavish her with expensive jewels and clothes and fulfill her girlish fantasies of marriage.  She even spends one long cold night waiting for her fairy godmother to show up.  The godmother doesn’t appear but Heber Jensen does—a plain, pleasant farmer from next door who has always liked Fanny.  He presents his case to her—gives her an idea of life with Heber instead of a prince.  She thinks it over (all night) and eventually takes him up on his marriage offer.  In short, she “settles” for Heber.  And they live their life.  They farm. They laugh.  They have babies.  They work hard and survive, and whenever he can, Heber tries to make Fanny feel like a princess.

Well, as luck would have it, the fairy godmother eventually does show up with apologies for her tardiness and so forth and tells Fanny that she has got a real live prince waiting for her right up at the castle…”Let’s go!”  But by now, Fanny has realized that what she has is even better—a real life—with all the sweet and sour, all the ups and downs.  She tells the fairy godmother “no,” knowing in her heart that Heber is her real prince and that there’s no such thing as fairy tales.

This is sort-of Cinderella with a big giant reality check—kind-of the Anti-Cinderella, or maybe Cinderella Redux—the dance mix.    First off, Fanny isn’t beautiful or even thin.  She’s described as “sturdy” which sounds suspiciously like “husky.”  She isn’t being tormented by a stepmother or stepsisters.  She isn’t shacking up with a bunch of crazed dwarves.  She’s just living a regular girl’s life, and like a lot of us, she has maybe set her expectations of life a little high. 

Most of our disappointments in life come from unfulfilled expectations.  “Expect the worst and you’ll never be disappointed,” my husband says.  Yes, cynical at best and wildly fatalistic and pessimistic at worst, but not terrible advice if it’s watered down a little.  Reach for the stars…work for the stars…dream of the stars…but don’t expect the stars. That way, if your prince comes in the shape of a short but sweet farmer, you’ll know enough to give him a chance—alter your perceptions a bit.  Don’t call it settling—just broadening your horizons a little. 

Fanny got all she wanted and more.  She just didn’t really know that that’s what she wanted.  Shimmery gowns and sparkly baubles aren’t always all that—sometimes there’s a lot to be said for the simple life.  Money can’t buy love and all that—a basic but important message for all our daughters—and a good one for us mamas too.